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At the last minute Christmas shopping in progress parents I have one question: Should an adult children still be spoiled?
“How old were you when you started? slowing down of Christmas presents for them?” influencers Nikki Tomczak and her husband Marty asked fellow parents on TikTok.
Over the years, the Tomczaks have showered their children — ages 29, 23 and 22 — with everything from toys when they were little to mature housewares as they got older. They even financed unrelated expenses for them like mortgage payments, engagements, hospital stays, baby showers and nurseries.
However, adding a son-in-law, daughter-in-law and grandchildren to the mix complicated things. Now Nikki and Marty wonder if it’s feasible to continue the tradition of getting multiple gifts for each of their three children.
In their video posted on Dec. 10, the Tomczaks said that this year the family decided to do a Secret Santa swap, meaning each person got another person to buy a gift without them knowing. In this case, Secret Santa is instead of typical gift-giving, where everyone has to bring something to everyone.
“So we’re only going to buy for the little kids,” Nikki explained. “And then we will only shop for one adult, which means we won’t be shopping for all our children for the first time.
“I’ll admit we’ve helped with some big things over the last few years,” she continued. “But it feels super weird not buying for each of the kids. It makes me really happy to see them open, you know, 10 things each. I love buying them things, but how long can I keep this up?”
Marty chimed in, “I say screw these kids. I don’t even know what the hell they’re getting anyway.”
Tomczaks’ question sparked a wide-ranging debate, with many parents quick to add their two cents on the subject. Most viewers admitted that they either started pulling back when their kids turned 18, replaced family trips with gifts when their kids were grown, or never stopped spoiling them.
“I will shop for my kids until they die,” commented one passionate mom, while another disagreed: “Last year, we stopped at 25-23-20. The older two are married. We started paying for family vacations for everyone instead of buying Christmas and birthday presents. The memories are priceless!”
A third said: “I’m just giving my kids 500 each. They’re 25 and 28, both in college.”
“My mom still gives us presents and socks at 53, 50 and 48. We’re all self-sufficient, but it makes her happy,” admitted another.
Meanwhile, one person noted: “We shop for everyone under 18. When they turn 18, we do Secret Santa. It’s just too expensive when the family grows. I have 6 children, 4 SIL, 1 DIL, 15 thousand and 5 great grandchildren.”
I’m talking to TodayNikki admitted that she will probably never stop buying gifts for her children. In fact, her youngest, who has special needs and still believes in Santa Claus, always gets multiple presents from everyone in the family.
“These are my children for life and I will always have something for them,” she said. “I just don’t know if it should be the same as it was when they were kids… at what age do you find balance?”
According to Nikki, this year’s Secret Santa is a good starting point for future Christmas celebrations in the Tomczaks.
“They were on to something – can they really make huge, huge Christmases forever?” she asked.