Dear Abby: Six months ago, I started seeing a man I really like but don’t want to be intimate with. We are in our “young” 70s, and we were both widowed two years ago after 50 years of marriage. We agreed early on that neither of us would remarry.
We are affectionate, and every now and then he will kiss my cheek, the back of my head, or my forehead. we hug each other That’s as much as I want. I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I’m worried that he wants more intimacy, which I’m not willing to give. What advice do you have for me?
—Limited to Indiana
Dear Limited: Since you’re sure you don’t want an intimate relationship with this man and there are signs that he might want more from you, talk to him frankly about it. You are both mature people and it is the only fair way to handle a situation like this. You may find, to your relief, that you are misunderstanding their intentions. If you’re not, he needs to know he’s barking up the wrong tree.
Dear Abby: My dad dated someone for several years. She broke up with him about five years ago. He is a nice person, so we keep in touch through Christmas cards. He recently texted me a box of memories, including pictures of their relationship. I was away on business so I didn’t get a chance to respond.
The shoe box arrived this morning and I just got a text from her asking if she had received it. Honestly, I think this was inappropriate because the relationship was between my father and her. I think I should have sent him the items. How should I respond?
—Only the Son in New Jersey
Dear Only Son: Answer by telling the woman that the box has arrived. Maybe he sent it to you because he didn’t want any more direct contact with your father. Call your dad, tell him his ex-girlfriend sent you the memories, ask him if he wants them or prefers you leave them, then follow his instructions.
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