Some of you may have already completed your holiday shopping, but most of us are normal. If you’re like me, over the next few weeks you’ll be thinking: “Oh, I should probably get that person a present.”
Maybe it will be for a friend, neighbor or business associate. If you don’t get them a gift, it can be awkward. Better to err on the generous side. Now how you get them is obviously up to you, but here’s what you should do no don’t give it to anyone this holiday season.
Don’t feed them. You are giving someone a giftnot getting to a chat. I understand that cookies, candy, and fruit may seem like a thoughtful and delicious idea, but nobody wants anything perishable.
Instead of food, a great gift would be alcohol. Booze is never a bad thing, and in the world we live in today, everyone needs it. It’s not even noon, and just thinking about some of the conversations I’ll be having this December makes me want a drink.
Another thing that nobody wants is clothes. Unless you’re a personal shopper, it is not qualified buy clothes for someone else. I don’t care if there is a gift receipt. It’s like running an errand for someone.
Instead of clothes, a great gift would be…alcohol! Now you can think, “But Jim, what if they don’t want alcohol?” That’s fine. Then they will register it again. No gift receipt required!
Here’s another no: Don’t give away gift cards. They are unimaginative and lazy. The gift card will only be lost. In five years, when the gift card is finally found, it will be expired and only cause stress and guilt. Instead, a great gift would be… alcohol! Alcohol can be used to numb the pain of losing all those gift cards.
you can think “But Jim, alcohol is never the answer.” Well, sometimes alcohol comes pretty close!
Finally, don’t give socks to anyone this holiday season. Yes, socks are practical but very impersonal. you can think “But Jim, the socks will keep them warm through the winter.” If you really want to keep someone warm this winter, a great gift would be…
You thought I was going to say alcohol, didn’t you?
Well, I am! Because alcohol can warm your heart during a winter that we all know will be filled with many discomforts.
You can also think, “But Jim, alcohol is poison!” Yes, it is, and like most parents of teenagers, I’m going to need some of that poison.
If you’re thinking of getting me a gift this holiday season and wondering what I’d want… to be honest, I’d appreciate any gift. anyone gift
As long as it’s alcohol.
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Story produced by Lucie Kirk. Editor: Chad Cardin.
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