Dear Annie: My husband has been training this season at our 8 -year -old football team. At first, I thought it would be a great link experience for them. Our child is an active and sweet child who used to spend hours in the yard by practicing his kicks and counting the days until the next game. But now, this excitement has disappeared, and I think I know why.
My husband is a very intense coach. He calls directions from the margin and is visibly frustrated when the boys mess up and, after each game, breaks down what went wrong to play. It even criticizes our son at the exit of the car at home. He says it is “just being honest” and that children need to learn discipline. But I have seen our son’s confidence fall. It has gone from love football to ask -if you can jump the practice.
He said to me last week, “I don’t think it’s good for football anymore. The father gets angry when they disorder me.” My heart broke up listening to this. This is supposed to be a recreational league, a place for children to have fun, learn and grow, but it becomes a high stress under my husband’s clock.
I tried to talk to him about the support a little, but he becomes defensive. He says boys need a structure and tries to prepare them to succeed in life. I understand his intentions, but I am worried that his style hurts more than good.
How can I help you to see that your approach can crush the spirit of our son, without turning it into a greater conflict between us?
– Mama Sideline with a heavy heart
Dear Heavy Heart: Your concerns are valid and your instincts as a mother are timely. At the age of 8, children should play sports because they enjoy them, not because they are afraid to disappoint their coach, especially when this coach is also his father.
Your husband may believe that she is helping the team to be better, but what may not be realized is that her approach could discourage the same son who wants to inspire. When a child who loved football begins to want to leave -this is a sign that something is out.
I encourage you to talk to your husband again, but this time from a site of love shared by your child. Show -this letter. Know that you admire your dedication, but remember -the creation of trust and joy in the game is more important than winning. Sometimes the most valuable lessons of sports are not of performance; It’s resilience, teamwork and just have fun.
Follow your son’s emotional well -being. It is lucky to have a mother who sees the great image.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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