Dear Eric: My husband and I have just turned 80. We are in good health, but we started talking about real estate planning. Each one has two children of previous marriages and, at first, it was an easy solution. After raising the donation to a non -profit, we thought that the rest of our assets would also be divided among our children.
Now, the situation: Although my husband has a wonderful relationship with her two children, mine have been strange in recent years. I would like to give my children an amount of witness, though small, I would let them know that I still think of them and love them very much.
My husband is getting more and more with my children with each year and holidays. He thinks they do not deserve anything, saying that if I was not worried when I was alive, they do not intend to import -to my death.
I, on the other hand, feel like doing this would be vindictive and meaningful. Can you offer words that help this situation please?
– inheriting split
Dear inheritance: Although you and your husband rightly browse life together, including what happens after you have gone, it is helpful to remember that you and you have different relationships with your children. This does not mean that your relationship is gained by virtue of being longer and connected by genetics.
But bets are different for you than for him. It is allowed to feel frustration and anger. And you probably find a support perspective but asserts about this situation of someone who loves you.
However, the relationship you have with your children is unique in the world and unique in your life, although it is strange. Maybe even more because it is stratum.
Therefore, you have to tend to specificity and you are the only person to decide what you want this legacy to mean for your children. You may have to learn to live with a decision you don’t love. This is not your problem to solve it.
The inheritance aims to overcome us, obviously, but many also use it to communicate on our behalf after we cannot. This is complicated. Talkes of money, but it is whisper.
Therefore, I also recommend that you talk to your children before you are not going, even if you just let them know that the intent of money is to remember them that you still think of them and want things to be different.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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