Dear Annie: I live with bipolar disorder, first diagnosed in the early 1990s. My husband and I got together after my diagnosis, and he has been my biggest support through everything: navigating different providers, raising my kids (not his), who also had their challenges, and helping me to keep me stable.
There have been difficult times when I felt guilty about the cost my illness has taken on him. He didn’t sign up for this life, but he’s had to watch me struggle with hospitalizations, legal issues during severe psychotic episodes, and multiple diagnoses before I found the right one.
I do everything I can to manage my illness: staying on my medication, working with my mental health team, and attending support groups. But recently, I had a stroke that worsened my symptoms and led to another hospitalization earlier this year. This tested our marriage in every way: physically, emotionally, financially and socially.
If it wasn’t for support systems like my providers, medications, and groups like NAMI, we might not have made it. I know my husband needs time and space for himself too. No one can be everything to someone, and I do my best to let them know how much I appreciate their love and support.
How can I make sure my husband feels supported and cared for in our marriage while I continue to manage my illness? How can we keep our relationship strong despite these constant challenges?
– Want to do more
Dear Wanting: You are already doing exactly what you need to do. Your letter is full of gratitude and love for your husband, and this is one of the best ways to make someone feel appreciated, cared for, and seen.
Thanks for sharing your story; it is both sincere and inspiring. I hope it serves as a reminder to others in similar situations that they can lean on their loved ones and that there is hope and help on the other side of difficult times.
“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” it’s out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation, is available in paperback and e-book. visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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