Dear Eric: I read the letter from “Unknown”, whose nephew planned his wedding the same weekend as the hundredth anniversary of the mother’s mother, I just have to share it with you. My husband and I have married happily for 51 years. We paid our wedding ourselves, from working class families. My husband’s cousin was also engaged. The man he was engaged in came from a family who had money. They came out the same day we got married and had just come to our reception. We are at our reception sitting at the head table when her mother, my husband’s aunt, arrives and asks us to endure lunch until they arrive. I was very surprised, but I was not going to let this ruin the day. I only said politely not because we had a calendar to keep it. They arrived and made a great day. We did not let it ruin the day because we thought that our guests would only see them for what they were. We had a great time: fantastic food and a lot of dance and joy and it was a wonderful time for everyone.
—Do the fun
Dear fun: Oh! I have heard all kinds of money saving tips for weddings, but this has the cake literally. I’m glad you have been such a good sport and don’t let your joy decrease.
Dear Eric: You gave good and practical advice to “leave friends”, a newly retired lawyer whose friends “disappeared” after a rare dementia diagnosis.
Here is an additional perspective:
No one chooses to get dementia. Without prevention or well -established care, we would all agree that dementia is not the fault of the person who has it. To unite to support groups or to take action to involve socially are good ideas for the person who lives with dementia, but the solutions are not theirs to support -alone. Think about this: Dementia visits one in ten of us around retirement age and one in three of us a couple of decades later. In this prevalence, each of us knows someone who lives with dementia, whether we realize it or not.
We all have the opportunity as a family and friends to learn how to take care and be supportive of our loved ones with dementia. Maybe those of us who have healthy brains even have social responsibility to do it. The friends who are worth keeping will not flee, but go towards those who live with dementia. “Running to” usually starts with a short training course. Virtual sessions are available to nurses certified with the Institut Dementia; Many communities across the country also have training in person.
—Running toward
Dear run to: This perspective is so valuable. We talk a lot about the importance of preventive care; This seems to me a kind of proactive attention. I love the idea that we can prepare significantly to support loved ones, well -known, even strangers before a diagnosis.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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