Dear Annie: I have a job that I love, but I am at risk of losing it -because I am lazy and I get supported. My job is mostly autonomous, which makes it a little too easy to leave things and not work hard, but now he is catching up.
Do you have any advice on how I can turn -me a hardest and more proactive worker before it’s too late?
—Lazy in California
Dear lazy: This is a good sign that you recognize these patterns and that you want to make a change. This is the first step towards real progress.
Remember -you are at stake: a job you love, that offers flexibility and independence, which does not do all jobs. Start structuring your day with clear and small goals and break down your work with the deadlines for yourself.
It should also be taken into account if you need more to sink your teeth. It seems that you may have fit so well to your current workload that is no longer difficult. Assuming something else can help you keep you motivated, to work more and do -you feel good about yourself.
Remember that the discipline is not about feeling motivated or productive all the time; It’s about noticing -when you left the course and choose to go back to the court. You already have the awareness and desire to improve. You are able, but now you have to act.
Dear Annie: I have been married for 25 years and I have always thought that I had the perfect marriage. Everything went well until my husband turned 50. After that, everything changed.
Turned miserable and miserable. When I asked if everything was OK, he got angry. I planned a surprise journey, thinking he was stressed at work and needed a break, but throughout the trip he was very angry, as if he had taken him out of something important. He did it so difficult and I tried to bring him closer to him, but I did not want to be near me. When we returned home, he insisted to sleep in a separate room, saying only that he could no longer sleep in the room we had already shared our whole marriage.
He also always complains of money, but I do not understand why we work and have more money than we need.
Recently, I had to print some documents, and while looking for them on my computer, I found disturbing things in their search history, especially related to the video games. It was horrible. When I faced him, he said it was just a fantasy he had.
Now I want to move away from all this and present the divorce. My kids think I should wait and give it time to change their old self. But my heart tells me to run.
What do you think should do? How long should a person wait to be loved?
—Worda Down Wife
Dear worn: In a perfect world, you should not wait at all. But the reality is that your husband is clearly for something significant.
Constant anger, financial anxiety, emotional and physical distance, and hiding its dark fantasies are severe red flags. You have noticed these changes over time that turned 50, which makes me ask -me if there would be something physical or mental. A visit with your doctor would be a smart first step to rule out.
If you haven’t already done so, I would strongly recommend couples advice before making final decisions. Maybe you just need a safe and neutral space to open everything that has been hidden.
The marriage can survive a lot, even what you are facing, but only if the two people are invested emotionally and work towards the same goal. What is happening exactly with your husband is unclear, but what is clear is that you bring the loads of this marriage alone, and you do not deserve.
Dear Annie: I have been married for 25 years and I have always thought that I had the perfect marriage. Everything went well until my husband turned 50. After that, everything changed.
Turned miserable and miserable. When I asked if everything was OK, he got angry. I planned a surprise journey, thinking he was stressed at work and needed a break, but throughout the trip he was very angry, as if he had taken him out of something important. He did it so difficult and I tried to bring him closer to him, but I did not want to be near me. When we returned home, he insisted to sleep in a separate room, saying only that he could no longer sleep in the room we had already shared our whole marriage.
He also always complains of money, but I do not understand why we work and have more money than we need.
Recently, I had to print some documents, and while looking for them on my computer, I found disturbing things in their search history, especially related to the video games. It was horrible. When I faced him, he said it was just a fantasy he had.
Now I want to move away from all this and present the divorce. My kids think I should wait and give it time to change their old self. But my heart tells me to run.
What do you think should do? How long should a person wait to be loved?
—Worda Down Wife
Dear worn: In a perfect world, you should not wait at all. But the reality is that your husband is clearly for something significant.
Constant anger, financial anxiety, emotional and physical distance, and hiding its dark fantasies are severe red flags. You have noticed these changes over time that turned 50, which makes me ask -me if there would be something physical or mental. A visit with your doctor would be a smart first step to rule out.
If you haven’t already done so, I would strongly recommend couples advice before making final decisions. Maybe you just need a safe and neutral space to open everything that has been hidden.
The marriage can survive a lot, even what you are facing, but only if the two people are invested emotionally and work towards the same goal. What is happening exactly with your husband is unclear, but what is clear is that you bring the loads of this marriage alone, and you do not deserve.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
Copyright 2024 Creators.com