Dear Eric: Although I am six years older than my brother, I have always considered me close. After our parents passed many years ago, everything seemed to change. I appreciate the holidays and birthdays, as they are the only time I have received a phone call. On every birthday of the day of birth or death of our mother and father, I sent a message message to a message “Thinking” to my brother. He has always responded. This year, on our father’s birthday, I did not send him a text message, as he was ill with Covid and Pneumonia. I received a quick text of recognition at night. Within my answer, I let him know about my illness. Replied with a “Get Goar soon.”
At the age of 72, this recent disease dropped me for more than a month. I was waiting for me to make a phone to check, but I still have to receive one. Consequently, I am re -evaluating my relationship with my brother. Although he is a smart man, a good father and a husband, he is married to a demanding woman who has not encouraged me and my husband to be close to them or my nieces and nephews. When my husband and I visit once or twice a year, we believe that it is an obligation on his part that a warm connection. I’m tired of that.
From the past experience, I know if I approach it, regardless of my approach, it will become defensive and argumentative. My only alternative is to continue to receive throughout accepting that my life may not be as important to him as I want to believe.
– Lost relationship
Dear Relationship: One of the benefits of having a brother is that we know them again on several occasions throughout life. This can also be a challenge. You and your brother have different communication styles. While his lack of communication does not think well, it may not be an indication that is not important to him.
You have expectations and hopes for what the relationship should be, which is OK. For example, rate the calls, especially on significant days or when you are sick. You don’t ask you ridiculous. But they may not be in your brother’s wheel house.
I know this is disappointing and can be detrimental. It may be helpful to think about the moment you felt closest and try to identify where these feelings came from. What were you doing and saying this proximity meant? Are there ways to adapt some of these things to your life now? It will not be what it was: Write that it has been many years since then and your family structure is different, but being proactive to recognize who is your brother now and managing your expectations of that person, you will feel less as if you are damaging.
Dear Eric: As for neighbors who have trouble putting their dogs on the strap and passing in front of their own courtyard on the grass of the writer of letters “perplexed not angry”: many dogs will not go to their property and decide on its own way to what extent they will travel with a strap before they do their business.
The card writer may at least know that it is very unlikely that neighbors will do it on purpose.
If neighbors knew that he was annoying for a particular owner, they could probably train his dogs to move a little further.
– Dog accidents
Dear dog accidents: This is a useful context. Hopefully, when they inform the problem, the neighbors will help their dogs take different options.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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