Dear Abby: I have a 16 -month -old young man who has recently learned to walk. My mother looked at him one day a week while working part-time, but finally decided that she was too stressed on her back and said she couldn’t get it anymore. She has recently told me that I need to “train” to do certain things so that he can see him without raising him (for example, climbing his own seat). Abby is too young to constantly do anything like that.
It is no longer possible to put him in the seat of his car, raise it to put him in his cot, high chair, etc. It is very pushing for me to find alternative ways of doing things that will ultimately do more work for me. I think it would be safer and easier to pay a body caregiver.
Talking -about it has become stressful because he tells me “crazy” to think that this is a concern for security. If we are in the park and he does something insecure, he collects and removes him because he is not yet a reliable listener. How can I argue with her in a kind but firm way, and my concern is valid?
—Frifant —Lo in California
Dear Right: You’re not crazy! Of course your concerns are valid. Your child is a few years of being able to do what your mother suggests. Ends in these discussions. It must be said kindly but firmly that you know he loves his grandson, but he needs more care than he is able to give him, that’s why you hire someone to do so.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Burn, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by his mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or Pobox 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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