Dear Eric: Our younger brother has made some poor decisions in his life and knows. Although it has been destructive life in general for more than 40 years, it is now a recovery addict, but it also has serious health concerns in its early 50’s.
It is on the shores of the homeless, in the early stages of some kind of serious illness (unable to work) and wants to return home outside the state to live with our 92 -year -old mother, who has her own health problems. He has also provided a large amount of direct financial support for the last ten years, but does not want to suffer.
My brothers are having difficulty reconciling with him in his intentions, in fact, he moves home. We want to establish clear guidelines for their transition to other accommodation and support before it arrives or share an action plan. We don’t want her to think she can move to her mother and live -until she dies because she can’t afford to stay home. He recently visited before the holidays and his mother had difficulty treating him during the three days he was there.
It is currently under some form of disability support, but cannot pay your own apartment. We also have the concern that it will take advantage of the content of the property and things for their personal interest. This is a past practice. We plan to have a family meeting to solve some difficulties, but what would you recommend?
– protective
Dear Protector: The first priority should be to ensure that your mother is careful and includes protecting the abuse of the elderly. Before the family meeting, consult a specialized lawyer in the elderly law to understand what things you can look and your legal options to protect and support your mother.
Needless to say, I think, but I will say it anyway: your brother’s plan is not good for anyone involved. The focus of the family meeting should therefore be to explore other options for him. As a group, you could examine what other forms of support could be at their disposal locally, both at the residential and medical level. Is it feasible that the brothers complement their rent, ideally, directly to the owner so that it does not adopt badly? There may not be great solutions that work for everyone and it is not the family job to solve all your brother. But if he is extremely ill, he needs more support than his mother or family can provide right now. It will be important to create a plan based on this reality instead of trying to fix things once it has been moved.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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