Dear Annie: First, I just want to say how much I appreciate your columns! I always enjoy your views.
My newspaper recently ran the column with a letter from “She was undervalued”, the woman who was frustrated that her husband did not buy her little gifts for occasions like Valentine’s Day. I thought your advice was great, but I wanted to share what worked in the same situation.
After 15 years of marriage, I realized that my husband simply had no idea how to choose small flowers or gifts for me, just like the husband of the writer. I didn’t know what to buy, when buying it even how to buy these things. It was not that he did not care; He only felt completely lost and, because he hates shopping, would put him until the last minute and then give up. Although he had given verbal suggestions and celebrations marked in the calendar, he never seemed to help.
Instead of keeping -me frustrated, I decided to help -to help -to me. I made a list of little gifts I love, such as books, cosmetics and clothes, with details like colors and sizes. I even gave him a “trap sheet” to choose fresh flowers because, he blesses his heart, he had no idea how to avoid semicircular bouquets. Now, before the holidays, I gently remind you that you check the list to have time to ask or buy. And when it does well, I do a lot of a lot, which really enjoys.
Since we were on a roll, I helped him make his own wishes list, and suddenly I became a much better gift donor for him. It turns out that we both needed a little guidance!
Perhaps the card of the writer of card is the same way; It simply does not come naturally to think, plan and buy gifts. But when approaching with humor, kindness and a little teamwork, it can become a sweet and fun part of the relationship instead of constant disappointment.
—Mama a plan
Dear Plan Made a Pla: Thank you for your kind words. Great job browsing this complicated situation. I hope your letter provided tips for others in similar situations.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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