Dear Annie: Lately I have been fighting with my husband’s temper and I don’t know what to do. When things are not going in their own way, whether it is a small thing like dinner plans or something bigger like finances, it gives off. He tells me names, makes me grow and makes me feel like I was always bad. I try to keep peace, but it seems to me that nothing I do is good enough.
One thing that really bothers me is that he has started throwing my makeup, saying -Met that I do not need it. You feel controlled, as if you are trying to dictate how you should look or what they allow me to do. I tried to talk to him about the amount that hurts me, but he brushes him or becomes defensive. I start to feel that I walk on egg shells in my house.
I love my husband, but I am worried that this behavior is not normal, or worse, that it can be climbed. I’m in excess? Is there a way to pass -and do it see how their actions affect me? Or is it a sign of something deeper I need to take more seriously? I would really appreciate any advice on how to manage this situation before it worsens.
—Fead trapped
Dear Feeling trapped: You feel trapped because this is exactly what your husband is trying to do. Its behavior is to control and abusive; It seems that it is getting worse and it must be stopped absolutely. It is smart to recognize the warning signs and receive advice.
Calling -you name, attract you and throw objects, especially personal items like your makeup, are all tactics aimed at impairing your confidence and making you feel helpless. This is not a makeup; This is a control. The fact that you walk on egg shells around it is a serious red flag.
You are not in excess. You deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect in your home. A healthy relationship does not include name calls, intimidation or reject your feelings. If talking to him only drives more anger and defense, it is time to establish clear borders for yourself. Consider contacting a trustworthy friend, family member or even a professional minister who can help you safely browse this situation.
If your behavior increases or feels threatened, do not hesitate to seek support from a line of domestic abuse.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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