Dear Annie: I had my children in the early 1920’s, who at that time felt good for me and my husband. We live in New York City, where most of the parents we know had children much later in life. At school events, games or birthday parties, we are often the youngest parents in the room, sometimes with more than a decade.
While everyone is educated, I can’t help but feel like an outsider. Other mothers and fathers seem to be at a different stage of life, with more established races, larger houses and conversations that often make me feel inexperienced or simply … out of place. I am proud of my family and the options we have taken, but it is isolating when I can’t find anyone who really relates to where we are in life.
It is possible to overcome the gap when you have parenting in a totally different life season than your classmates? Or do I need to find my own circle elsewhere?
– The youngest mother feels without synchronization
Dear younger mother: You are not alone to hear -out of step with other parents. In many urban areas such as New York City, it is common for people to start families later in their lives. When you are the youngest of the functions of the school or the game games, you can feel that all the others are a few chapters ahead, more established in their career, more financially safe or simply in a different social rhythm.
This can be isolated -even when no one means to do -you feel outside.
But I hope you do not overlook the strengths that occur to start a young relative. You probably have more energy to pursue the little ones, less years of age and your children when they reach adulthood and more flexibility to grow with your family.
You can also reach certain milestones before, such as having more freedom at 40 when others have just started school years.
Although it is true that it may not instantly click with all the older parents, give them an opportunity. The connection often grows through shared experience, not just similar resumes or life deadlines. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with looking for friendships with other younger parents who can relate -more closely to your trip.
Aging can be lonely at any age, so finding your tribe, whatever it seems, occurs more than fitting it.
Take your head high. You did not take the wrong way; You have just taken -Ne a different one. And there are many things to say to start soon, grow together and have time to rediscover the road.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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