Dear Annie: My sister lives across the country and recently lost her husband. It does not have much support system nearby and it is not in good health and it cannot go well. Can barely take care of herself, no matter your little dog. His home has serious problems because he has been poorly maintained. I couldn’t go to see it, but even if I could visit it, I would not help much the problems of the house. Still, I care deeply and worry about your mental and physical health.
I call it several times a week, but lately I have worried more. I contacted someone who knows that from time to time the visit, in the hope that they could give me a better idea of how he really is. That person did not call me again, but they called my sister and told him to call them. My sister told this third to not contact me. She is now upset with me to “go back”, and we have not talked for more than a week.
I can understand why it can be annoying to me but my call was not done by malice. I’m really worried about their well -being. I just wanted to ensure -it was fine. Now our relationship is tense. Has it been bad to contact someone more concerned about their health and safety?
– worried and shooting
Dear worried and detachment: You have not mistaken. From a distance, it can be difficult to know what a situation is and your heart was in the right place. However, it is understandable why your sister felt blind. If someone is reviewed without their knowledge probably felt embarrassing and as a confidence breach. And since she continues to face the loss of her husband, she is likely to feel more vulnerable these days.
It’s not so much about who was right or wrong as it comes to passing this incident and repairing your relationship. Send your sister a message, not to defend -you or change what happened, but simply say that you feel to disturb -and that when you are willing to reconnect, you will be there. It may take some time to return to the same page, but with space and grace, I’m sure it will come.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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