Dear Eric: My little brother “Mick” has been a heavy beer drinker for at least three decades with a great stress race. When he retired, his drink climbed. He received a DUI, which was a mandatory visit to order the courts at a local AA meeting for a year. The court also had a bracket of blows installed in its truck for three years.
He is now isolated to his trailer and drinks from Sunup at dusk. And it is very sensitive to the people who begin their drink. He does not see the problem.
Two years ago, he started calling -me. At first the calls separated every two months, but came at night when it was ruined, so the conversation was a challenge.
Now calls are almost every day, sometimes two or three times a day. It looks like I am your only social outing and I’m ready to shout. I put my phone on the speaker because these calls last two to three hours. He deepened with memories of his career, his challenges as a supervisor, the family drama. I can hear it appear open beer cans every 15 to 20 minutes.
The only limits I have set are not to answer if I drive or execute orders. I also do not answer if it is 20 hours (my time). Last week your first call arrived at 7am, can you think about other limits you could use?
—Created to shout
Dear Ready: Why yes, I can surely. Decide when you can handle a phone call and for how long and say -it is your designated time. Maybe it’s once a week for 15 minutes. It is okay to set up a timer even. When not one of the designated moments, consider your phone to calm down any call you receive from it.
When you tell you the new programming, you can also be honest with how the calls affect you and the behavior you have noticed. You need to hear the truth.
My heart goes out to Mick, which is at the addiction tweezers. I’m sorry that AA did not work for him when he was obliged. I hope you do a smart recovery or other method to treat addiction. It is sensitive to comments because, despite its protests, it knows that there is a problem. It is clearly adversely affecting his life.
And these telephone calls negatively affect your life. You may think that they are harmless, even friendly, but the incessant and unilateral nature makes them look more like part of their addiction. Refuses to see how their behavior affects others. The best is for you and for Mick if you have finished.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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