Dear Eric: I have two casual friends who have been moving to different parts of the country for some time, but they sent me messages every two months for many years. They are not friends who would never visit or even call on the phone and seem to feel -the same.
They have written that they “want to keep in touch”, but their messages contain nothing but a greeting followed by a perfect answer, such as “having been busy”, when I ask what they have been.
I used to offer details about the work, my hobbies, my partner and where I traveled for vacation, without recognition or recipient on his part. Frankly, I don’t see it in contact. It would be rude, after all these years, to stop returning them to write?
—Beous will upset
Dear why it is upset -some people, especially at the time of a fast text or email, are satisfied with a simple greeting. Others, like you (and I, frankly), want a little more substance in correspondence.
The feeling is lovely, true, but if you feel more empty than to fulfill for you, it is OK to pivot.
You have some options. You can respond with good performance, thus achieving your expectations of friendship and avoiding resentment. You can, as you suggested, leave it out of Peter without responding. Or you can address it directly: “I would like to hear more about what’s going on with you. Take care to give me an update?”
In response to your question, I don’t think it’s particularly rude to let sporadic texts not answer, but leaves a loose social thread. Better, sometimes, to say what you think.
How to create peace with a passive-aggressive mother-in-law
Dear Eric: I have some tips for the person who brought his mother -in -law on a girls’ trip and his mother -in -law complained throughout the time (“Trip Gone Work”).
My own thousand was very passive-aggressive in a similar way. I spent 35 years trying to please -and never worked. Finally, in the year 36, I decided to stop bending back, trying to like it.
Finally I realized that I had to accept the type of person I was and created an atmosphere of cordiality that worked.
—No peace
Dear New Peace: This is so wise. We cannot change others, but we can change how we respond to the actions of others.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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