Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We have an age gap of 18 years. I am 39 years old, and he is 57 years old. We have a strong relationship and we have gone through hell and return to together. God blessed us with our 6 -month -old son, “Michael”. We have a small happy family.
We also work together. There has been a young collaborator who constantly launches my boyfriend. It has happened before in other jobs we have had. When I talk to him, he is completely forgotten. I don’t know how to manage this co-worker without disturbing him. He said he is not aware of his behavior, he loves me and our son, and he asks me why he bothers me.
How can I manage this Conundrum of collaborators?
—N
Dear distrust: It is completely understandable to feel restless, especially as a new mother who sails both in life at home and in working life with her partner. What stands out to me is not your boyfriend’s behavior but your need for more security and support.
If you have not even noticed the advances of this co -worker, it is likely that it really does not entertain them. So instead of questioning your loyalty, focus on what you need. Make -know that you trust him, but would appreciate his conscience and backup when someone crosses a line. You are on the same team, so you approach this.
At the helm, keep the professional things. Often, the best way to frustrate a applicant for attention is to ignore them. If the situation increases, you and your boyfriend can revalue and configure the limits.
You said it yourself: You have gone through hell and you have returned together. You will do it too. Focus on others, feeding your relationship and enjoying paternity and your new child. Everything else is just noise.
Dear Annie: I write in response to “Waiting on Friend”, the senior fighting to make friends in his retirement community. It is true that in our stressed society, isolation can increase over time, especially for women.
While your response really covered what was needed, I thought it would not hurt to add a counterpoint to a belief that “waiting” has to interfere with its success in creating good: Not that you are mistaken; The positive intentions behind a belief make sense, for example, not wanting to be a load for others or forcing a relationship. However, in a world of isolation, being the consistent initiator can make a difference.
Instead of waiting for the reciprocity of the invitations, look for the reciprocity of agreement. If people accept your invitations and enjoy these experiences, it is also a sign of reciprocity. He should see as the leader who is already and continue to show, offering invitations. Over time, this type of constant effort can inspire others to start -invitations in return.
—It is eating for thought
Dear Food to Think: Thank you for your letter. Introduce an interesting point, which is that the recipient does not always appear in the way we hope. As you said, a single “yes” can be as genuine as an invitation.
I hope that “wait” continues to put it out and start -both for her and for those of her social circle. Often, what we put in the world is what we attract in return.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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