Dear Eric: Since they retired, some friends have created a band. I went to one of his concerts a couple of years ago and recently an internship session.
They would clearly like to go further or all their concerts. The concerts are usually at night, an hour from where I live. I’m a morning person. After years of travel, I am delighted to drive as little as possible. I like to be with a friend or two but I put myself in a room full of people and I’m ready to go home. Many of the activities I enjoy are lonely and I never remember asking anyone to come out and support anything he does.
I love these people and I feel like I have to start going to their concerts. I can tell them the big one who sounded. And I know that all the time I wish I was home. Any tips on how to proceed?
– Band’s friend
Dear friend: It’s good to try to show you and give you support to your friends, and it’s good with you, in advance, to defend what you need and stay home when you suited you.
When a performance is performed, or a marathon is directed, or really anything that is enriched by an audience, it is important that the expectations around the support be filled. Some friends and members are very willing to present -always and where we are encouraged. And that’s great. Others, like you, could find that they are not the right audience. And it is OK to give what you can, attending a few concerts, without overcoming.
Your friends allegedly formed the band for the joy of playing. And part of that joy comes from being seen. It is healthy to remember that not everyone who loves or cares will be their target audience. And that people can encourage them from home.
In the past, when I wrote to people who have heard an obligation to support the creative efforts of a loved one (or written to a loved one who feels without support), some readers have responded that it is always our duty to present and support. After decades of public performances in other areas of my life, I see the support as more multi-facet. I want to act for people who want to be -I understand if it is not the right concert, the place or even the day for someone else.
Try to deal with the pressure you feel, in a non -loaded manner. “I am excited that you have found it, and I think your music is really fantastic. Getting to live shows is difficult for me, but I hope you know that it does not decrease how proud I am!” And even if you don’t show it, the best announcement is mouth to mouth so tell someone to enjoy very night.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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