Dear Eric: My husband has a rocky past with his family. He is nearing one sister and does not like to be with the other (“Lisa”), especially because he started to leave (now married) a very uncomfortable boy and makes our family much less fun.
In addition, her mother “Betsy” has been cut out of our lives, but not Lisa’s. Betsy grew physically and emotionally for my husband’s family.
When we had our first child 10 months ago, my husband asked his father to wait for Lisa to tell Lisa until we were out of the hospital, in case Betsy tried to come to the hospital (we all live in the same city). When Lisa learned five days or so after birth, he furiously and cut off the whole family.
Lisa has recently modified with other parts of the family, but we have not seen it. My husband does not mind connecting with her, partly because they are not nearby and partly because he does not like his new significant. I haven’t contacted because I’m not so close either and the new baby keeps me busy. I have nothing against and I want to be in my son’s life, but I’m afraid I have been waiting too long and I don’t know how to repair the relationship. I do not like to disagree with someone, especially the family, even if it is not my blood family. My thought was to make text messages and apologize and start like that. What do you think about it?
—As to repair fences
Dear I want to repair the fences: You are stuck in a difficult position because you are not responsible for any harm in this situation (and it seems that there is a lot of harm). However, obviously it affects you. Since this is your husband’s family and Lisa’s accommodation is connected to Betsy’s accommodation, it is best to follow her leadership here. In the past there is badness that, rightly, put an internal barrier.
There are also some slightly confused complications in the present, that is, the aversion to Lisa’s new husband. I can see not wanting a lot of time around a person, it is uncomfortable, but let the aversion snowball in a family fracture it seems extreme. I have the question of whether this discomfort has been underlined in the letter (and therefore more worrying) or if it seems more a problem due to the already complicated story of your husband with Lisa.
Whatever the truth of the situation, he and Lisa have some things to work. You can talk to him about your desire to solve the vacuum and ask -as you can support it better, but you have to let it make the decision. Here are old wounds, so you want to take care of it.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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