Dear Annie: My husband had a period of infidelity. He met a co -worker and was ill with mold poisoning. I did not give him the attention he normally did. He said he found what he did not give to her. She told me about her, but she refused to stop seeing -swearing that they were only friends.
I tried to be friends with her just to find that every interaction I saw between them hurt me and made me more insecure and uncomfortable with her relationship. Then I found out that one drunken night, before moving -to my apartment, they slept in the same bed together. My husband had lied and said he had never stepped on our apartment.
It came out more lies and asked her as we worked for her not to see – He saw her once a week and her birthday. He had told him when he said he wanted to see -his birthday that he was breaching his promise and I would break mine and leave. He saw her anyway.
I also found all this of his co -worker. He said that “Janey” had been very much in our house and gave the information without asking. I want to save my marriage, but I don’t know the more. Our daughter and I go in July, and it seems that she has no problems. I’m bewildered.
– lost and bewildered
Dear Lost: You have every right to feel -betrayed and disappointed by your husband. Infidelity is detrimental enough, but the continued lie, the broken promises and its clear ignoration for your limits show that it is not interested in reconstructing confidence.
You deserve someone who is willing to put the job to create a successful trusting relationship. Leave you may not want to win, but at least you can move away -you know you did everything you could. Take care of yourself and your daughter. Your heart is real but will not last forever.
Dear Annie: How can I tell if the marriage is for me? My question goes towards the religious side of things but I’m not sure if I will find love and romance in my life.
I have not had relationships with many people or romantic relationships with the women of my life except once. The closest thing I came from was more than 11 years ago, at the beginning of my first university year, with someone I met in the Church and was deeply linked to the whole year. Just as we started planning the future together, he moved the schools.
Now, at the age of 29, I am still single and virgin. It is not so much the sex that I am later, as it is the privacy and the affection of being in a close relationship. I am not sure if I lack some kind of self -awareness or if women are not interested or attracted to me.
I always thought I wanted to be a husband and father one day, but recently I thought about turning a monk or priest for my lack of relationships.
I am the type of person who needs comments to know how to make positive changes in my life, so any tips you have is appreciated.
– looking for clarity
Dear Appearance: Finding a lasting romantic connection and a life couple takes time. Your age, virginity or lack of experience does not mean that you have lost your chance. It just means you haven’t found the right person yet.
If love and connection are what you want, you must invest your time, energy and heart to attract it. Put in new situations. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. Trust and know your sorrow. You feel so attentive, genuine and emotionally prepared for a relationship. Keep your mind open, be patient and have faith that love can still find you.
As for the priesthood, consider seriously if this is a path you feel called and not one you are taking because you feel romantically discouraged. Becoming a priest or monk is a vocation, not a fall plan or a last resort.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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