Dear Eric: I recently left a group of business networks only for members to which I belonged to half my professional life. I was always a very active member of the group. Every year, I constantly said many more client references than I received. I was generally happy with the business sent my way so I renewed my membership and did not complain about the unbalanced record. Also, I think it is better to be wrong -on the side of generosity. I had good long -term relationships with everyone, whether we did business together or not, we knew spouses each other and sometimes entertained the group in our homes.
In the last two years, I began to experience rude and unpleasant behavior towards me, lies, electric and subpar service levels provided by some of the members. In addition, incoming references almost stopped me. I have asked a few members advice and could not think of anything I should do differently to be more refurbished.
I am puzzled why I would get this treatment after bringing all this business to the group members, again some reciprocal and some, doing many things for the group, helping them grow, etc. Should it be less generous?
During my last weeks, I cried on the day of our meetings, so it is so toxic and unpleasant that energy felt there.
I belong to other professional groups, some also for years, and it is like the night and the day. Karma is still a thing? And if so, why did I do so much in exchange for such a good thing? I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. I just would like to know what mistakes were!
– no longer on the network
Dear Network: I don’t see mistakes here. Make a good faith effort to improve this group and provide referrals for the benefit of the networks and the network did not increase to know -you. It seems that maybe some members were outside for themselves and also included your experience. But I think you are right that generosity is often the best tactic.
In the future, however, if you think you are not treated fairly, or you don’t get enough value for something you pay, over time or energy, I hope you will feel empowered to talk and ask what yours is. This will help prevent the feeling of being used. You can still be generous while you are assertive.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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