Dear Annie: I am fighting with my mother -in -law, “Linda”, and it begins to cause tension in my marriage. My husband, “Jake”, is an only child, and they have always been very, very close. At first, I thought it was sweet, but I realized that when Linda and I have a difference in opinion, Jake will always be Team Linda.
Last week we invited her to dinner. I had gone to the grocery store and bought all the ingredients for the pasta and a salad of Caesar, and that same afternoon, Linda called and said, “I am in a good mood for the steak.” Instead of leaning -because I had already prepared the menu and I did the grocery shopping, Jake agreed with her and asked us to go buy steaks.
This is one of the few examples, but it really starts to bring it. I think it’s good to be nearby, but I don’t want to compete with your mother. How can I get Jake to see my side without doing it as if you have to choose from each other?
– Woman strange outside
Dear Estrany Woman: This is not a Food Preferences; This is respect. By agreeing with his mother on the steak, Jake rejected your efforts and made you feel like an outsider in your own marriage.
The first step would be to say -how they made you feel their actions. Do not ask him to cut the ties with his mother, just to take into account your feelings. It should not be a competition.
Dear Annie: Many people end up in jobs that do not enjoy for different reasons. Some feel pushed by their parents to become doctors or lawyers. Some feel that their dreams are unrealistic or do not have what they need to succeed.
For me, the message was clear: “You are a woman, you do office work.” So I did, and I hated it. I wanted to be a flight assistant, but it was “too short.” I loved the carpentry, but it was a “man’s job”. Photograph? My parents did not see it as a “real work”.
I spent my life showing that people are wrong, dominating carpentry, electric work, photography, landscaping and even semis driving. But despite all these skills, I have never used them completely. I felt too late, I felt too old, too tired. Now, at the age of 70, I look back and wish I had pressured with what I really wanted.
Young people: Follow your dreams even when no one believes in you. The schools offer career assessments and my children followed theirs. If you believe creatively your passion can lead to all kinds of opportunities. For example, my son always liked the game and ended up becoming a very successful programmer. I just hope that more children have the courage to pursue what they like, regardless of what others say.
– races unlikely
Dear Racing Unlikely: Even if you have not used your skills to all your potential, the fact that you pursued them shows your resilience and self -confidence. It is true that young people cannot let others dictate their future, and it is also true that it is never too late! At the age of 70, your experience and wisdom would make you a great mentor for young people pursuing photography, carpentry or even looking for professional guidance. Follow your own advice and follow those passions that you have not yet exhausted.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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