Dear Annie: I have been seeing this kind since the beginning of December. She is perfect in every way, unless she seems to be tied to this woman, “Suzy”, with whom she became a good friend because of the unfortunate past that connect both. From the beginning, he has always been honest with me about his Platonic relationship with Suzy.
Although I have no problem with him being Suzy’s best friend, there were a couple of cases that I found restless. He seems to want to keep his friendship with Suzy in the bubble only for both of them, while “forces” to accept -mentioning his name so often. I know a part may be that you want to be honest with me as long as you have plans with her. The last time he mentioned that he was planning to see his son’s event with her, I offered to unite -it was a public event, so no one would feel like a third wheel, but again he rejected the idea.
I am a little confused for your relationship because if you are just friends, I do not understand why you always have problems, so I can also know it. I think her relationship is definitely more than a platonic because she seems to be very emotionally involved with her, even if they do not have a physical relationship. Do you think my new relationship with him is doomed? Should you give up now before I do -Mining me later?
—Confused to Michigan
Dear confused: her friendship with another woman is no problem, but her secret does. Even if there is no infidelity, its behavior makes you feel like a second option.
Tell -it’s important to you spending a while with Suzy. Figure it as an expression of your love for him instead of your suspicion of her: “If it is an important part of your life, of course I want to know -it!”
One thing to keep in mind: You say that your boyfriend’s friendship with Suzy formed “due to the unfortunate past that connect the two.” If he and Suzy have experienced traumas or losses similar to their lives, it may be considered a safe space. Through couples therapy, you can better communicate what you value in your friendship with her and you can better communicate your concerns.
Dear Annie: You have given good advice to “peace and tranquility”, except for one thing: You have never mentioned the fact that her daughter can also go through some mental health problems.
Taking care of a father all the time is a huge stressor about the child.
I was also extremely patient. I tried to consider all the things my mother had happened.
I had taken care of my father when I was dying. Was already exhausted.
I moved to be closer to my mother and help. Help became her by taking advantage of -never saying thanks, constantly criticizing despite being the least happy.
He sucked me up with each patience and I didn’t like it anymore. Cut the daughter a little loose.
—Nnetwich with sandwich
Dear tired sandwich: Thank you for this valuable perspective. Both mother and daughter are responsible for her health, mental and physical.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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