Dear Annie: This letter refers to Aunt and Uncle who provided generous gifts to their six nephews, only to be forgotten when the time came for the nephews themselves to be grateful.
I would suggest that they do what I have done with my 20 grandchildren: I will give them birthday cards and gifts to the age of 18. At that time, I let them know that their 18th gift is their last birthday gift, but they will always love them and give them a birthday card later; Then, for Christmas, they receive a card and a gift until the 21st anniversary, which is then their last gift.
Once again, I let them know that I love them and will continue to send a card after the 21st Christmas.
In this way, once they are adults, I am free of what could begin to feel -as an obligation. The joy they feel as children when they receive a gift is also my joy, but once they are adults, now is their generous turn with others.
—And in general but practical
Dear generous but practical: I love your observation that it is a joy to give. This is so true. It is often better to give than to receive, and your letter touched this important feeling. Thank you for knowing how you manage the problem of giving away -early and cards as children grow older.
Dear Annie: To the parents, whose daughter married before the planned wedding and then sent printed postcard ads.
My daughter and her (now) husband also married in August before the November wedding to cover the insurance.
I thought it was practical and well thought out. I would have liked to be? Sure.
But the reception of the wedding was an explosion! Little did my daughter know that her grandparents did the same in 1941 during World War II! I guess the daughter of “Feeling left out” did not call them to make them know because she did not want to hear anything negative. Be happy that the newly married are happy. Enjoy reception and dance!
—Happy with what I have
Dear Happy: I love your letter. He looked at the brilliant side of the situation and focused on all the blessings that resulted in his marriage.
Dear Annie: Parents who felt attenuated by their information that they were informed that their daughter had bothered were not annoying that we had left; They simply felt that a postcard from their own daughter was impersonal to say -the least. Parents seemed perfectly understanding that he turned and stated several times. I must say that our daughter went with her husband for military reasons, and if they had sent us a postcard (regardless of being sent first, considering that there is still no certainty that we received her before others in the postal service), we would have given them in hand. With current technology and communication speed, there should never be an excuse for parents or children, not to make a simple and courtly call to inform them of a wonderful event in your life.
—We get first, please
Dear Call us first: Thank you for offering your perspective.
“How can I forgive my partner partner?” It is outside now! Annie Lane’s second anthology, with preferred columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, is available as paperback and electronic book. Call http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane to Dearannie@creators.com.
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