Dear Annie: I (38f) have finished having children and always thought it would be a gestational carrier. I am interested in helping someone to build their family and have a little more for my children’s university funds. My husband is a supporter of everything I would like to do. I was originally going to work through an agency, but I met a couple through a mutual friend I brought and seemed to be adapted to work with private. I am financially stable, but I could use the “impulse” in income.
Almost eight months ago, we had an initial talk about expectations, compensation and seemed to be on the same page ($ 50 million+ plus some expenses for things like maternity clothing).
We had a more recent call to indicate that their comfortable budget was 10 to 20K, less than we had talked about and seemed nervous to refund various pregnancy costs.
I found an agency that has expectations, a non -negotiable payment plan for a compensation and many benefits of bonus for me as a carrier. How can I receive the news to this hopeful couple who are not interested in taking their baby to return to their word about money? Both are in very paid races and make much more money than me, without the children having support.
—Duent of concern
Dear worry: Although there are emotions involved, being clear, concrete and direct with the partner, they will save many problems for everyone. “As we have continued the discussion, it is clear to me that I am more comfortable working with an agency.” You do not need to continue to return and forward with them over the numbers. A little negotiation will be standard, but to cite a figure and then walk -significantly does not occur well. You can wish them the best and separate them in peace.
Since there are several legal and medical requirements involved in gestational transport, it is important to enter the process with clear expectations and mutual confidence supported by a contract that has been negotiated by surrogate lawyers. The changing goals of your budget do not meet your expectations and is not a good foundation on which to build this important relationship.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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