Dear Annie: Thousands of grandparents and members of the extensive family are involved in raising children in the world today, often due to parents who are struggling with substance abuse. Although many of us assume this responsibility for love and need, it comes with their own set of emotional challenges.
As one of the grandparents, I had to wait for my retirement plans, which sometimes lets me feel angry, resentful and overwhelmed. This was not the life that had been foreseen at this stage and I struggle with the loss of my own plans and freedoms.
At the same time, I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to take care of my granddaughter. I love her beyond words and do anything for her, but the weight of this responsibility and sacrifices that I have had to do can drain emotionally.
How can I manage the frustration, pain and occasional resentment that occur while still the stable and loving presence that my granddaughter needs? I want to fully embrace this role, but I also have to find a way to deal with my own feelings in a healthy way.
—Mistaled emotions
Dear Mixed: First, allow -to recognize the incredible love and dedication you are showing up to your granddaughter. Creating a child when you hoped to go into a rest season and freedom is not a small task, and the emotions you feel: love, appreciation, frustration, resentment – are completely valid. You are not alone in this experience. Many grandparents are in similar situations, balancing a deep devotion to their grandchildren with the penalty of a life they had planned, but they had to set aside.
The most important thing to remember is that sometimes feeling frustrated or resentful does not make you a bad grandfather; It makes you a human.
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