Friends talking outside on the bench.Song
Dear Eric: I am a college student in the mid -1920’s, and I still lose friends. Some friends have ghost me, others frustrated with me when I tried to find out why they ended up a friendship with me, and some have said that I talk too much about my problems, but they still want to be friends. A friend has just lost his mother and told me what was happening, but they had not responded before. I feel that some friends are really setting the boundaries, but I feel some use as an excuse not to talk -or to be around me. I will advise regularly and I am trying to practice autocompath. What should I do?
—Practical friendships
Dear friendships: Practicing self -coach is absolutely the first and best to do here. Friendship can be complicated for reasons that are often out of our control. And college is a busy and complicated time during which people go through many life transitions. So, grant -a little grace. Not everyone who knows at college will be a great adaptation for friendship. And no one deserves to be ghost. Although there may be some things you can change, this is not your fault; You should be treated better.
Try to take some lessons from these friendships: good and bad parts. Think about what you value in friendships and you bring to a relationship; Use them as targets for future connections. Maybe the friends you have now are not in the right space to be supportive in the way you need; Maybe you are someone who wants to talk more openly about the limits and expectations. It is allowed to ask what you need. As you make new friends, be in search of the qualities you want and the people who give you the best. You can even have some conversations with your counselor to try your communication and ensure -what you are asking is really what you want.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to Eric@askingic.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, Pa 19110. Follow it on Instagram and register -in his weekly newsletter at Rerithomas.com.)
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