I he used to equate a full life with a full schedule. My days are booked, well ahead of time, for dinners out, pub quizzes, exercise classes, cinema trips – activities that I knew would be useful or rewarding.
I had decided to work less for half of my life: I couldn’t burn myself out when I had so much else to do, I thought. But when the time came for me to pursue the project, I wanted to find myself too pregnant, not only as much as could be squeezed into the day, but also about my study.
As mood and energy levels continue to deteriorate, social opportunities feel more and more like another obligation – something I had to do, rather than something I wanted to do. Coming to dinner with friends, he became akin to the work of the assembly; I have registered the same in my calendar.
It finally dawned on me that the act of stopping far in advance had robbed me of the opportunity to enjoy myself. I made these plans based on hypotheticals, without admitting to the real possibility that I was tired, stressed, or just not.
Of course, this meant I wasn’t the best company, either. Rushing from one office to the next meant that I often arrived confused, distracted and slow. I would also always leave early to keep to my schedule.
Moving to Norwich helped me break this habit. In London, I had a feast no less full with most of my friends than mine; Often, unless they had the chance to see each other, they agreed on a date three weeks or so in advance. In Norwich, I can see almost everyone I know within half an hour’s walk of me, with amazing cafes, restaurants and pubs in between.
Within months of moving, I discovered the joy of spontaneity. My days were necessarily empty because I had fewer local friends. In peace and quiet I realized that I had come to better understand how I really wanted to spend my time – and it flowed much more freely than I had thought.
I was surprised at how much he benefited by spending one time. I could see that I had bright ideas and interesting thoughts which I suspect would have disappointed me if I had taken a step under the hammer. Then from that new relaxation I began to pay attention to my desires – which I wanted to do at any moment.
My recently cleared folder meant that if I finished the day’s work and felt like watching a film or going out for a pint, I could. The act of naming and acting on those impulses only made them more positive. I began to understand what all those self-help books of yours “authentic self” wanted to be.
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My packed schedule made me feel like a dog on a lead, I was never allowed to stop and smell the flowers. By making fewer plans and giving myself more “free” time, my days actually feel fuller. Now, if I run into a friend on the street, I stop and chat, or even tag in their gifts. I even made a few new friends by virtue of being slow. You will be surprised how many faces you become familiar with when you don’t always run into someone else.
In some ways, moving away from London has also made me friendlier to those you left behind. whom I do not see often, since we lived in the same city, but even from a distance I seem to have been more attentive and neglected what is going on, which must be my time, strength of mind and spirit. . And when we make plans — to visit London, or to come to Norwich — we often make one plan: to spend time together and enjoy it that way.