Dear Abby: My 60-year-old best friend lost her husband 13 years ago. He has a son, who is successful and busy with his young family. They try to include her in various family gatherings, but she always has an excuse for not being able to attend: she doesn’t drive at night, doesn’t like friends, etc.
The truth is he starts drinking at 2 in the afternoon, and at 4 in the afternoon he starts sending me rude and hurtful text messages. I’ve tried ignoring them, not responding, turning off my phone, etc. I know she’s lonely, but she blames everything on others and doesn’t take responsibility for her own actions.
I love him but I can’t take it anymore. I’ve talked to her about it and she just laughs. Then, that same afternoon, after a few glasses of wine, he throws it in my face again. Please advise.
—Over It in Arizona
Dear: By now you should have realized that no matter how much you would like to, you cannot fix what is wrong with your “best friend”. Only she can do that if she finally admits that she has become an alcoholic and decides to do something about it. The longer you tolerate her abuse, the longer she will continue to abuse you and herself.
Tell her once and for all that you are not going to let her hurt you anymore, and until she shows that she is dealing with her drinking problem, you want nothing more to do with her. Then step back and block their calls and any other communication. Friends don’t treat their best friends the way they treat you, and you don’t have to put up with it.
Dear Abby: I love cats and dogs. We have one of each. Both are indoor pets. My problem is that my wife and daughter have filled our house with cat and dog paraphernalia of all shapes and sizes. There are seven dog and cat beds in the master bedroom, five in the spare bedroom, four in our daughter’s bedroom, three in the living room, and one in the kitchen (because our cat supposedly likes to watch her cook my wife).
There are also scattered cat trees, a four-story cat cage, and dog and cat toys scattered throughout the floors. There are packets of dog and cat treats everywhere. I love stepping on them barefoot at night. Am I being unreasonable to suggest that our cat and dog should not be treated like royalty? I suspect they’d be fine with a bed each, you know, like us humans.
—Cancelled in California
Dear Canceled: it sounds like your wife and daughter have gone overboard trying to make sure the furry family members are comfortable. It definitely takes some compromise, especially in the areas where you spend the most time, such as your bedroom, living room and kitchen. It would also be considerate of someone to make sure the floors are clear of toys and treats before you go to bed, so you don’t injure yourself on the way to the bathroom.
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