Dear Annie: I have a 47-year-old son who lives with me. He doesn’t pay rent and doesn’t help with the bills. He helps with some of the yard work and cleaning the house, but he doesn’t pay attention if I ask him to help me with something I’d like. For example, he failed to install a Dish Network while I was away.
He is bedridden for weeks and months at a time. He gets home from work around 4pm, and stays in bed until it’s time to go to work the next day. He misses work an average of one day per week. The same for weekends; often stays in bed all the time. He even eats while lying in bed.
I asked him to move, but he won’t. Is eviction my only recourse? I just want him out of the room and out of bed. Do you have any suggestions?
– Fed up mother
Dear fed up: The first rule is that you can’t eat in bed. This is unhealthy and does nothing for their self-esteem. Since your adult child is not paying rent, you could serve him with a 30-day notice to vacate, which means he would be ordered to vacate the premises.
As a mother, you want to help your child help himself. But it is being impossible. Staying in bed, missing work once a week and ignoring your wishes are signs that something very serious may be going on with your child. Yes, he needs to know that he can’t keep teasing you, but instead of running to legal action, why not run to a therapist’s office or talk to him yourself?
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