Dear Eric: I am a 55-year-old woman with a disabled daughter. Dad is long gone from the picture. I make a living on an average income and could live comfortably if it weren’t for my disabled daughter. Things go well for a while, and then a crisis hits, and she’s back in the hospital racking up huge medical bills.
I have a brother, and he’s a billionaire. We live in the same town, but we haven’t seen each other since my mother died. We never had a harsh word or anything. I think you just meet a different class of people.
I do everything I can to save. I drive a 20-year-old car, buy my clothes at the 99-cent Goodwill sale, and have a very modest home.
I feel very sad because I have a brother who is so rich and never thinks of helping me. He uses a private jet when he flies, takes great trips and has vacation homes all over the country. I just wish that with all his money, he would offer to help me pay some of my medical bills. He knows I’m struggling.
– He needs help
Dear Help: I know it hurts to feel overlooked by your brother, especially at a time when you are working so hard to make ends meet. This is a difficult situation, and I wish he had proactively offered to help you.
The fact that he has not, however, is not necessarily an indicator that he is not willing. Have you tried contacting us with a specific request? Maybe it can help with medical bills or even subsidize better insurance so the bills go down. Maybe it can help you get a new car or even give you the respite of a vacation. Going in with a plan and a certain number can help you understand your opportunity to lend a hand.
A gift is better, of course, but you can also suggest an interest-free loan.
It can be difficult to ask these questions – it’s a vulnerable position and the fear of getting a ‘no’ is understandably daunting. But I hope you give him a chance, and I hope he takes advantage of it.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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